Attempted automated wordcount. Please use LibreOffice/MSOffice for an accurate count: 7263 thanks, author! If you wish to have this removed from this list, email ra.llan.pcl+complaints @ gmail.com, making sure to provide proof that you are the author. A Night to Forget APRIL 10th, 1912 The great ship towered above the ponies like a mammoth of metal. The newly constructed Titanic had a full head of steam and was ready to cross the Atlantic Ocean with the honor of not only being the largest ship ever built, but also the most luxurious. Princess Celestia coordinated the building of the liner, but she couldn’t make it because of her preparations for the Summer Sun Festival. However, its designer, Cheerilee, was making the maiden voyage to iron out any kinks. She designed Titanic from the keel plates up and knew every rivet in the ship. The captain, Twilight Sparkle, was honored to have her making the voyage. But not as honored as she was to be captain of the liner. As the captain, Twilight had to do a lot of studying about it. She knew all the basics such as the watertight door construction and triple-engine design, and she was confident in her ability to command the ship with grace and bring it to its destination on time with no altercations. The president of the line, Rarity, was also making the voyage. She always wanted to see how her ships performed on their first trips. With the president of the line and the designer present for the trip, it was very high profile. In the docks of Southampton, all the ponies frolicked with bliss as they either boarded the ship to start a new life or a vacation. Rainbow Dash, a pegasus pony looking for work, was making the trip because she thought there would be better job opportunities in America. She was also encouraged to go because the Wonderbolts were going to America for their next show. Rainbow Dash could only afford to board third class, but was thrilled to be able to make the trip anyway. On the other hand, Fluttershy was riding aboard Titanic in first class, traveling with her family across the ocean to meet her relatives over yonder. Fluttershy never wanted to board Titanic, saying she got “a strange feeling” when she was around it. And she wasn’t the only one. Deep in her stomach, Twilight got a strange feeling about it too. But she associated it with anticipation and didn’t think much of it after that. Traveling as a coal stoker, Braeburn was transferred off Adriatic to make the trip because Rarity took coal from other ships as the result of a coal shortage. Braeburn wasn’t exactly excited about the change, but he couldn’t complain. He was traveling with his cousin Big Macintosh. Meanwhile, a dazed Derpy Hooves stumbled onto the second-class boarding runway, knocking several ponies out of the way. She was actually assigned to be one of the lookouts, along with her sister, Dinky, who boarded hours earlier. She flashed the man her ticket and was on board the ship, to many people’s dismay. Also making the trip was Prince Blueblood. He had arrangements to marry a mare named Carrot Top who wasn’t as thrilled as he was to be marrying. Blueblood had a very large amount of money and Carrot Top knew she was in a bind, but she could hardly stand to marry such a tyrant. He wasn’t a pleasant colt. Oh well. At least she’d be getting a stable amount of money. And for that, she was willing to put up with just about anything. The ship was ready to sail. The lines were let loose and the propellers began turning. However, several sounds that were similar to gunshots rang out. Twilight ran to the port side of the ship and to her horror, USS New York had broken free from its restraints and was coming fast towards the ship. Her celebrated career was about to end in ignomity as the ship barreled helplessly towards them. She couldn’t think of anything to do to save herself. Then she got an idea. She blurted “Port engine ahead full!” Thirty seconds of breathless waiting went by, and a maelstrom of foamy water bubbled from the left side of the ship. A wave crashed into New York, stopping it four feet from Titanic’s stern. Twilight sighed and said “All ahead half,” and the tugboats pulled it further into the water, beginning its long journey into the open ocean. APRIL 13th, 1912 The ponies had all settled into the ship and were having a great time. Rainbow Dash ran to the bow of the ship and let the cool breeze flap in her rainbow mane. Just as she thought she was about to reach enlightenment on the bow of Titanic, another pony pushed her out of the way. He stood on the bow, held onto the wire connecting the bow to the lookout pole, and shouted “I’m the king of the world!” Rainbow Dash snorted and went below decks to find more lively company. In the wireless shack, Senior Officer Snips and Junior Officer Snails ran the Marconi machine. They picked up signals from other ships or even from land and were instructed to relay any messages to passengers. They were also instructed to relay notes from passengers back home. Snips was exhausted from all the message relaying and forced himself to push on. Eventually, he got a warning about icebergs and relayed it to the captain. Chief Baker Mr. Cake was in the kitchen making a special loaf of bread for Cheerilee. He respected the designer of the ship very much. He enjoyed his job, letting the hot flames of the fire cook his beautifully crafted food. The passengers all enjoyed his cooking, and he enjoyed cooking it. It was a wonderful cycle. Fluttershy stayed in her stateroom most of the time. She came out to eat only when necessary, and when she did, it was always in Café Parisien. She didn’t like company much and her family respected that. Hopefully she would bloom once she was in America. She ran into Cheerilee earlier and couldn’t help but say hello to her. Cheerilee was such a jovial person, always a smile on her face and willing to get along with anyone. It was hard to imagine she designed such a monster of a ship. Prince Blueblood and Carrot Top were dining in their private promenade deck for lunch. Blueblood was the first to break the long, awkward silence that had built. “You are to join us for dinner in the First Class Dining Room. I’ve arranged for us to dine with the captain and designer. It should be a splendid experience. Even the president of the line is rumored to attend.” Carrot Top replied, “No thanks, honey. I’m feeling a bit more like eating by myself in Café Parisien tonight.” Blueblood twitched a bit. “I don’t believe I gave you the option. You are to dine with us and you are to enjoy yourself.” “No, I’m not. I’m a grown lady and I’m doing what I want to do.” Blueblood in a fit of rage threw everything off the table and picked up his chair, smashing it on the wall and creating a very large spear-like object. He smashed the table and pointed it at her. “I made what we’re doing tonight very clear. If you wish to disobey your future husband, I suggest you throw yourself out of the window right now before I do it myself. You are my wife in PRACTICE IF NOT YET BY LAW, SO YOU WILL HONOR ME! Is that understood?” Carrot Top whimpered and shook her head. When Blueblood exited the room, she bent over and began to silently weep. What had she gotten herself into? Twilight Sparkle looked out into the distance, the wind flowing in her mane as smoke billowed out of three of the four huge funnels. She couldn’t help but feel a wondrous sense of accomplishment. Her accommodations for the trip were absolutely splendid, and hardly a thing was wrong with the ship. She and everyone else knew the ship was unsinkable thanks to its watertight compartments, and nothing would change that. She even remarked when bringing over Adriatic, “I cannot imagine any condition which would cause a ship to founder. I cannot conceive of any vital disaster happening to this vessel. Magic has brought modern shipbuilding beyond that.” Alongside Twilight were Chief Officer Applejack and First Officer Pinkie Pie. Twilight had known Applejack and Pinkie Pie for a long time and was thrilled to have them making the trip. Pinkie Pie was a bit jealous of Applejack because she was a First Officer rather than Chief and talked to Cheerilee about it on many occasions, but nonetheless, they were satisfied. Second Officer Lyra was happy to be an officer at all. She told her spouse as she was leaving for the journey, “I’d rather be Second Officer on Titanic than Chief on any other ship. Titanic is just that grand.” Scootaloo, Apple Bloom, and Sweetie Belle tumbled out of a wooden box in Cargo Hold 2. “Ow, Apple Bloom! Why’d we have to nail it? It took us forever to bust out of it!” Scootaloo said. “Well excuse me,” said Apple Bloom. “Maybe next time YOU should try sneaking aboard a ship.” “Guys,” Sweetie Belle said, “Can we stop arguing? Maybe this is the perfect opportunity to earn our cutie marks. Now let’s find our way to above deck. It’s starting to smell fishy in here.” “Cutie Mark Crusader Stowaways are go!!” They shouted. Above deck, the captain was in the wheelhouse. No problems here, Twilight thought. She wrote a letter and was getting ready to take it down to the wireless shack to relay it to the Princess. Everything was perfect. APRIL 14-15th, 1912 Earlier that day, Rarity complained to Twilight that the ship wasn’t going at its full speed potential. “The ship’s arrival must be fabulous! And how can it be fabulous if we’re not traveling with all our boilers lit?” She remarked. Twilight was uneasy about bringing the ship to full speed, especially with the influx of warnings from other ships about iceberg warnings, but nonetheless, she ordered the last four boilers lit and ordered the ship to be brought up to 22&fraCSSdirectionCSS2; knots. The increase in speed was noticed by one Rainbow Dash, who flew across the ship in glee. “Man, we’re goin’ FAST! Woo-hoo!” Applejack pulled her down by the tail, exclaiming “No flyin’ on the ship! You could hurt yourself!” The temperature dropped very suddenly. 40 degrees, then 35, then to 32. It was nearing 11:00 PM, and the ship was as jovial as ever. A game of bridge was going on in the First Class Smoking Room. A rousing game of Pin the Tail on the Pony was happening in the Third-Class party space. The White Star Line generally doesn’t allow card games on Sunday, but tonight the boys at the table kept it quiet. Around 11:20, Twilight excused herself and went off to her stateroom, leaving Lyra in charge of the wheelhouse. Pinkie Pie came by and remarked “Have you seen the binoculars for the lookouts?” Lyra replied “I haven’t seen them since Southampton. Anyway, I’m off to make my rounds.” And with that, Pinkie Pie was left in charge of the wheelhouse for that time period. So far, so good. The temperature had dropped to bloody cold by that point, and the water was very smooth. Like glass, most ponies remark to this day. At 11:40, Lookouts Derpy and Dinky Hooves spotted a very large object off in the distance. Derpy rang the bell three times, picked up the phone, and phoned the bridge. After 8 seconds of ringing, Derpy exclaimed “Pick up, you bastards!” After that, Quartermaster Dr. Whooves replied, “Yes, what do you see?” “Iceberg, right ahead!” “Thank you.” Pinkie saw the iceberg right about the same time, ran into the wheelhouse, and exclaimed to Spike, who was running the wheel, “Hard-a-starboard!” Spike quickly turned the wheel to port and Pinkie lost no time in ringing down “full astern” to the engine rooms. Thirty seconds later, the ship began to swing to port, and Derpy thought it had been a very close shave. The next thing they know, a very curious rumbling shivers through the ship. Fluttershy was awakened by the stirring and woke up to find that her bed was shaking very oddly. Shortly after that, she walked into the hall and stopped a steward to ask “Um, excuse me sir, I felt this, um, faint grinding jar, and, if it’s okay with you, I’d like to know, where it came from.” The steward replied he didn’t know and continued walking down the hall. For Rainbow Dash in third-class, there was no “faint grinding jar.” It was a “tremendous noise” that sent her tumbling out of bed. She hit her head extremely hard on the floor and couldn’t help but swear when she landed. Pinkie Pie immediately ran down the hall of the Captain’s quarters and flipped the switch to close the watertight doors. As water poured into the first six compartments of the ship, many panicked stokers bolted for the closing doors. Big Macintosh and Braeburn took one glance at each other and ran for the door. Braeburn made it out safely, but Big Macintosh wasn’t so lucky. He made it halfway through the door, and right as he was about to make it through, his hoof was caught on a pipe. The door came down on him, and he closed his eyes and tried not to think as the door crushed him very slowly. It broke his back at first and paralyzed him, meaning at least he didn’t feel any pain. Blood poured from his mouth and stomach as the door came down upon him mercilessly. He was perhaps the first pony to die from the incident. Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash began trekking to upper decks to see what all the fuss was about. She had half a mind to go back to sleep, but didn’t think something was right. Blueblood was awoken by his stewardess. “What the hell could possibly so important as to wake me right now?” he boomed. The stewardess ignored him and tossed a lifebelt onto his bed. “It’s captain’s orders, sir,” she said. She walked to Carrot Top’s room and woke her as well, handing her a lifebelt gently. Twilight Sparkle was awoken by the shock and came onto the bridge. “What was that, Pinkie Pie?” Pinkie replied “An iceberg, ma’am. I put a hard-a-starboard and rang the engines full astern, but she was too close. I tried to port-round it, but she hit, and-” “Close the watertight doors.” “The doors are closed, ma’am.” “Ring the engines ‘all stop.’” Twilight looked around and saw several chunks of ice scattered along the bow. She didn’t think anything that would sink the ship happened, but she said “Get the carpenter; get him to sound the ship.” Fluttershy walked to the deck to see several tons of ice scattered along it. She saw a large group of ponies come to mess around with the ice, so she went back to her stateroom. When she was in it, though, she felt the deck tilting ever so slightly forward. She couldn’t even describe how she felt it, and didn’t bring it up to anypony. The Cutie Mark Crusaders were sleeping in a car Cargo Hold 2 when the collision occurred. Water poured into the room, knocking the car over and nearly trapping the girls. They managed to free themselves from the car, but the water was rushing in too fast. Sweetie Belle didn’t know how to swim, and she thrashed and kicked to the point of exhaustion. Apple Bloom was horrified to see Sweetie Belle in this kind of situation. She immediately thrashed her way over towards her and held onto her for as long as she could. Scootaloo kept herself afloat with her wings and tried to swim over to Apple Bloom. Apple Bloom was treading water holding up Sweetie Belle when a wave of water threw her back into the wall, cracking her skull and ending her life. Scootaloo saw the wave kill Apple Bloom and was about to swim over to help Sweetie Belle when a large floating box hit Scootaloo and cut her body very severely. She couldn’t help Sweetie Belle and had no choice but to let her die. She was able to swim to the top of the bulkhead and get away from the calamity. There was no time for mourning over her friends. Something serious had happened. Cheerilee felt the jar and grabbed her blueprints. She walked to the bridge and was there in ten seconds flat. Rarity also walked to the bridge to see what was going on. After inspecting the damage, she was able to report to Twilight what happened to the ship. “The iceberg cut a hole from the forepeak, all three holds, and in Boiler Rooms 6 and 5. There’s a two-foot gash in 5, and the engineers are able to keep ahead of the water with the pumps. That’s five compartments full. The ship can stay afloat with the first four compartments breached, but not five. Not. Five.” Rarity exclaimed “Are you daft? This ship can’t sink! She’s unsinkable!” Cheerilee retorted “She’s made of iron, Rarity. I assure you, she can. And she will. It’s a mathematical certainty. If she goes down by the head, the water will slop over the compartments and fill into the next. This will continue until it drags the ship down.” Twilight’s eye twitched, and she looked up at Cheerilee. “How much time have we got?” “An hour, two at most,” she replied. Twilight ordered the lifeboats to be launched as the engine rooms let off steam to prevent a boiler explosion. Steam was hissing out of three of the four huge funnels and making a very large racket. Pinkie was to take the starboard lifeboats, and Lyra was to take the port side. The ponies were very skeptical to get into the lifeboats, but were pretty much forced to by the crew. Derpy climbed down from her post and remarked “I’m not getting into a boat. The big ship is safer than some small little pile of wood.” Twilight stopped by the wireless shack and ordered Snips and Snails to begin sending a distress call. She gave them a piece of paper with their approximate position on it, and said to start sending “CQD” to anypony who would answer. Snips said “Blimey!” and began pecking a message out. Rainbow Dash attempted to make it to the Boat Deck, but a couple of assholes in white suits had a gate up and were holding all the third-class ponies back. There had to be a way to get to the Boat Deck, but how? Fluttershy was escorted up to the Boat Deck by several stewards. She didn’t really want to get into a boat because she felt like she was imposing upon others. So she waited and let other people go first. In the meantime, Twilight instructed Octavia, Piania, Peachy Pie, Gloria, and Tinner to play some music that was “Nice and cheery, so there’s no panic.” Octavia began playing “Orpheus” to break the mood. Prince Blueblood and Carrot Top stayed close together and found a lifeboat for them. When he tried to enter it, Lyra shouted, “Sir, sir, you can’t enter here. It’s women and children only.” “Women and children only!” he remarked. “Balderdash! Us men are the real important ones on this ship! Leave the useless mommies and babies to freeze to death, not us business executives!” Carrot Top was escorted into the boat by Lyra. The tilt in the deck was getting steeper, and two lifeboats had been launched already. It was at that point Pinkie Pie remembered what Twilight told her about not having enough lifeboats for the trip. Originally, Cheerilee called for the ship to have 32 lifeboats, but Rarity thought having a number of lifeboats that exceeded the Board of Trade regulations was a stupid move and unnecessary on this unsinkable ship. You can’t argue with the president of the line, so of course everyone had to agree. Later on, Lyra got out a couple of guns from the lockers and gave them to the officers, instructing “You’ll need them, trust me.” Pinkie Pie and Fifth Officer Trixie grasped the guns and trooped back to the Boat Deck to continue lowering the boats. At one point, Rarity didn’t know what to do. Technically she was a passenger, but she was the president of the line, so did that make her crew? She didn’t know, and she was beside herself. She at one point went to a lifeboat and said “Lower away, lower away, lower away!” and spun her hoof in a circle. Trixie came up from behind her and exploded “If you’ll get the hell out of the way, maybe I can get some work done! You want me to lower away quickly?! You’ll have me drown the whole lot of them!” Applejack and Lyra were appalled by such rude behavior. A Fifth Officer doesn’t insult the president of the line and get away with it. When they got back to port, there would be a day of reckoning. Snails came to Twilight and said “Carpathia is making 17 knots, that’s full steam for them, ma’am!” Twilight thanked Snails for the input and went back to her business. Far below, Rainbow Dash continued to smash her face against a gate. “Let me in! Now! I need to get up there!” The officer behind the gate wouldn’t and couldn’t let her through, so she continued to be angry. In a short while, Braeburn came across her and they agreed to try and make it to the Boat Deck together. The first thing they did was tear a chair out of the ground, hoist it up, and smash through the gate with it. They had to fight a couple of crewmembers, but they escaped. The ending was obviously near, and Octavia could feel the deck tilting very violently. It was almost to the point where she couldn’t hold her cello. At that point, Peachy Pie complained “What’s the use? Nopony is listening to us anyway.” Octavia replied, “Well, they don’t listen to us at dinner, either. Come on, let’s play. It’s bloody cold out and it keeps me warm. Wedding Dance.” All the main 16 lifeboats had been launched, and the last four collapsible lifeboats were the only ones left. Collapsibles C and D were fitted into davits. D filled up with passengers very quickly and was launched crammed with ponies. C was fitted and everypony who was around it filled it. Nopony else was around. Pinkie Pie said “Anymore women and children?” Rarity replied “They’re all aboard, Ms. Pie!” Pinkie shouted “Anyone else, then?!” Blueblood saw this as an opportunity and climbed into the boat. Rarity looked around and saw the ship beginning to become more and more hopeless. With great shame, she climbed into Collapsible C, abandoning the ship that she was the owner of. Pinkie Pie looked at Rarity with disappointment, and Rarity kept looking away from her. After seemingly endless seconds, Pinkie shouted “Take them down.” The boat creeped down the side of the ship. The water was up to the officer’s quarters now, and the tilt in the deck was undoubtable. Twilight looked over at the flooding wheelhouse, trotted over to it, and shut the door to the main wheelhouse. She stood by the wheel and looked at the water pouring into the shore wheelhouse, seeing the water press against the glass in front of her. Braeburn and Rainbow Dash finally made it to the deck, and Braeburn instructed Rainbow Dash to follow him to the lifeboat that everyone was fighting over, Collapsible A. Pinkie Pie was pushing ponies aside with her arms and threatening them with her gun. “I’ll shoot anypony who tries to get past me, get back! Get back, you filthy bastards!” Braeburn tried to get into the crowd to see if he could get in the lifeboat and was suddenly pushed forward by Mr. Cake, who had lurched by with a bottle of gin in his hoof. Pinkie Pie shot Braeburn as an impulse and he died almost instantly. After that, Pinkie shot another pony trying to climb over the davit ropes. Rainbow Dash saw what happened and rushed over to him, crying at his lifeless corpse. When Pinkie saw the damage she had done, her heart instantly felt a great stabbing pain. She turned the gun on herself and shot, killing herself. She fell backwards into the water, leaving Fourth Officer Bon-Bon to try and retain order. Scootaloo came up to D Deck and was outrunning a very fast stream of water that she had been trying to avoid. The next thing she knew, she takes a wrong turn and ends up in a corridor where a gate is shut. The water cascades onto her legs and she pounded onto the door for help to come, but nopony came to her rescue. The water reached the ceiling, and Scootaloo is forced to suffocate right then and there, trapped by the lack of opening a single gate. Octavia finished playing her song and looked around. The panic, the suffering, the great ship slipping beneath the waves. She said to the band “Well girls, it’s the end. We’ve done our duty, and it’s time we make a break for it.” The band all said their goodbyes to each other and began to slowly walk away. Octavia strummed a few bars of “Nearer, My God to Thee” and the band all came back to play the song. Collapsible A is finally freed with a load of ponies on it, and Collapsible B is attempted to be cut from its restraints. The sadness of the entire situation brought tears to Octavia’s eyes. At the very end of the song, she remarked, “Gentlecolts, it has been a privilege playing with you ponies tonight.” Twilight is encased in an air bubble fifteen feet below the surface of the water inside the main wheelhouse. She inhaled deeply as the water pressure destroyed the glass windows surrounding her and filled the wheelhouse with water. The water rushed in with such strength that she had a hard time hanging onto the wheel, but she does, and she died an honorable death in the wheelhouse as the captain of Titanic. Cheerilee, who assumed the position of in front of a picture in the First Class Smoking room, looked aft at a picture of ships sailing to the new world. She looked onto it, speechless, motionless. A pony passes by and attempted to speak to her, but she doesn’t give a single word as a reply, nor does she acknowledge she heard what the pony said. She simply kept looking aft. Collapsible B was finally cut from its restraints, but floats off the ship upside-down. Collapsible A was nearly swamped with water as more ponies tried to climb onto it. Lyra, who was working on freeing Collapsible B, was paddling towards the boat when she was suddenly sucked into an air vent. She crashed onto the metal wire and wondered if she’ll live beyond that point. Shortly after, a blast of air pushed her to the surface and she paddled towards the overturned Collapsible B, treading water as she’s doing so. Fluttershy never could bring herself to get into a boat, so she never got into one. Panicking now, she felt the only hope she had was to swim and get away from the ship. When she was in the water, a very sharp sound occured from behind her. The first few metal wires supporting the first funnel broke loose, and the funnel cracked and toppled over. She screamed as loud as she can and tried to fly away, but she wasn’t fast enough and is crushed by the funnel, among others. Rainbow Dash didn’t think there was any hope in finding a lifeboat, so she ran to the stern to try and ride the ship while it was rising and float off at the very last second. Her and many other ponies clung to the stern as it swung slowly upwards. She saw Mr. Cake beside her holding a bottle of gin. He took a big swig from the bottle. “If there’s one pony I’ll never see again,” she remarked to nopony in particular, “it’s him.” Down dipped Titanic’s bow, and its stern rose into the air. The propellers were now completely exposed, their beautiful brass finish gleaming in the moonless night. The chandeliers in the café hung at a crazy angle now. Suddenly, a sound from hell broke loose as every single thing that’s not tied down begins to fall. Grand pianos. Cases of tennis balls. Beds. Couches. Everything imaginable began to slide. It’s at this point ponies stop being able to hang onto the ship. Sliding starts to occur and everypony not hanging onto something slides down the deck like a water slide. Octavia tried to hang onto some railing, but slips off and slides into the water. She didn’t swim to a lifeboat, or to anything at all. She sat in the water until she froze to death. Rarity, floating in a convenient little lifeboat, looked away in complete shame for what she had done. She had completely failed her duty as president of the line. She knew it was her fault that she ship didn’t have enough lifeboats. She knew she was supposed to be on that ship right now. But she couldn’t. She was a coward. She looked away from the ship and sobbed to herself. It’s 11:16. Rainbow Dash hangs onto the tilting stern, scared completely out of her mind. She can’t possibly fly while it’s this cold, and she wouldn’t be able to fly for very long without being exhausted anyway. Her only choice was to simply ride the ship down. Then, a curious rumble shakes through the deck. The lights go out, blink back on, and then off again for good. A moan cries out in the darkness from the massive ship as a chunk of metal bends outward from stress. An almost gunshot-like sound rings out into the night. Then another one. Peachy Pie, who is standing at the third expansion joint, notices the wooden railing breaking apart. She recoils in horror as the ship begins to break in half, opening a massive section of itself where a pony could easily fall in. She tumbles into the hole and is killed by the fall, her violin staying behind to slide into the water. The windows in the First Class Dining Room all break in a row, and the support beams all crack and pop under the weight of the ship breaking. The ponies in the generator room keeping the power on are electrocuted and thrown into things, and none of them make it out alive. Cheerilee is thrown into the picture frame spontaneously and dies on the spot. The stern falls back level on the water. Rainbow Dash thinks to herself, “Oh yeah! This ship can’t sink! They probably threw a switch or something to break it so it stops sinking.” But as soon as the thought enters her mind, the bow begins to sink again, pulling the stern vertical. Dash attempts to climb onto the railing and ride the ship down. The stern is forced to a 90 degree angle and hangs there motionless for minutes. Suddenly, Rainbow Dash looses her grip, slips and falls off the stern, falling towards the water. She tries to fly, but by the time her wings are extended, she smashes into the massive rudder, breaking her back and killing her instantly. She slides off the rudder and her body plummets to the water. Shortly after, Titanic lets out a groan and begins to sink again. Mr. Cake prepares to be bombarded with cold water as the ship slides under the surface, slowly at first and then picking up speed. The poop deck, filled with air, explodes and a cascade of water pours into it. Air escapes from broken metal strips on the stern. The water reaches the top of the rudder, still stained with blood. The water begins to swirl around “LIVERPOOL” on the stern of Titanic, and finally it reaches the name. The flagpole slides under the surface around 2:20 AM. The ship slides from underneath Mr. Cake, and he doesn’t even get his hair wet. 1500 ponies are left stranded in the freezing water. The ponies who were left in the water screamed. They had never felt cold like that before. Lyra described later that the water felt like “a thousand knives” stabbing everywhere on your body at once. The ponies in the boats questioned why they weren’t going back to help them. It’s amazing how many different thoughts entered different officer’s minds. Fifth Officer Trixie tied together three boats and emptied one, allowing it to be ready to pick up survivors in the water. They found that the majority of ponies were dead, and only pick up five of them. One died shortly after. But at least she went back. Mr. Cake, hardly bothered by the cold water, swam to the overturned Collapsible B. Ponies protested him getting on because of his weight, but he fought his way onto it and stayed dry. About two hours later, Carpathia arrives to pick up stranded people in the boats. As Collapsible C’s passengers came aboard the ship, some were surprised to see Rarity, who made it out alive. Carrot Top and Blueblood reunite, much to Carrot Top’s dismay. They married of course, and Carrot Top inherited her millions. But that didn’t stop her life from being filled with pain and suffering. Within a year, Rarity was pilloried. Nopony could understand why she abandoned her ship. She was fired from the White Star Line and bought a private mansion out in the country. She died a recluse in 1937. The ship could be replaced, but never the lost lives. Never again would anypony believe in the “unsinkable ship.” It was foolish to put one’s entire trust in 45,000 tons of steel plates and cables. From that point on, captains posted extra lookouts, slowed down, or even stopped to prevent collision. It was also the last time a company would be allowed to fling a ship into a known ice field without enough lifeboats. The laws were changed to be simple indeed: Lifeboats for everypony. Regardless, the maiden voyage of the great Titanic turned out to not be so great after all. * * * A Night to Forget (Part 2) Pinkie Pie was sitting at her shiny new laptop (made by Pony Electronics of course) browsing through some pony fanfics. Using her questionable abilities, she was able to tunnel through the fourth wall and access not the Ponynet, but the Internet. She came across a fanfic called “A Night to Remember.” After reading it, she was speechless. She immediately ran to Twilight’s house, carrying her laptop, to say a few words about it to her. She would have something to say about this. “Twilight! Twilight! Oh dear Celestia, she has to be home!” Twilight Sparkle came to her door, to see a wild-eyed Pinkie Pie staring right at her. “Oh, hi Pinkie-” “Twilight! There’s no time for that! Let me in!” “Uh, okay...” Pinkie ran into the library and threw her computer on the table. “Read this, Twilight.” Twilight stared at the pink pony for a couple of seconds, bewildered. “Well go on, read it!” Not opposing Pinkie, Twilight began to read the words on the screen. Twilight was horrified as she read the story, but not affected much. The words had little impact on her. “Well that was... interesting. Not a bad read, but nothing spectacular. Who wrote this anyway, and who in their right mind would want to kill us off like that?” “I can’t believe some asshole would do this to me!” “...what? Who?” “He totally screwed up everything. Not only was it written horribly, but he had the NERVE to have Applejack trump me as an officer!” “It wasn’t that bad. It sounded like it was a good ship, and the name was pretty cool. You’d have to have quite an imagination to come up with a ship like that.” “You just don’t get it, Twilight. Titanic was real. It just wasn’t real here.” “Wait, so it was real somewhere else? Where?” “That place called... Earth.” “Oh my Celestia. Pinkie, how many times have I told you, we’re the only ones in our galaxy.” “You’re wrong, Twilight. Some idiot decided he wanted to take our names and slap them over some historical event. Well, it’s time I did something about that. Did something about it big time! And I know just where to start...” Without a word, Pinkie bolted out the door, leaving her laptop behind. “I know what’ll show that... MichaelXX2 fuckbrain... mumble...” she mumbled to herself. She was in her loft at Sugar Cube Corner, frivolously working on a small contraption she called “The Breaker.” A few adjustments later, and The Breaker was ready for action. Pinkie gripped the device in her hoof and pointed it at the wall. The Breaker rumbled, shook, and exploded in a ribbon of light. The colors enveloped the entire loft, shooting rainbows everywhere. The Breaker let out a cry that sounded like an entire army of soldiers dying all at once. It hissed and shook and billowed out smoke, and shot out a blood-red beam in front of it. A shattering sound rang out into the daylight. Suddenly, in front of Pinkie was a large hole, not in the wall, but in time and space. A very loud roar and cracks of thunder came from the rip. The Fourth Wall had been destroyed. “Pinkie Pie!” screamed a voice. “Pinkie Pie!” “Twilight?” Pinkie responded. “Is that you?” “What the hell are you doing? What have you done? What’s going on here?!” “No time to talk, Twilight! All I’ll say is, that MichaelXX2 character is about to get a run for his money!” And with that, she disappeared into the rip. The hole closed slowly and the roar died down. She was gone. “Doc, are you telling me you built a time machine... out of a DeLorean?” “Yes!” Doc Brown said to Marty. “The way I see it, if you’re gonna make a time machine out of a car, why not do it with some-” The roaring of a thousand soldiers interrupted Doc as a huge technicolored rip tore through the middle of the Twin Pine Mall parking lot. “Holy shit! What the hell is that?” Marty said. “Great Scott! What the hell is going on?” Pinkie Pie jumped out of the rip, completely untouched. The Breaker gave a sigh, and the rip closed up behind her. Suddenly, Marty McFly and Doc Brown were looking at a pink-colored pony with huge eyes, staring right at them. “Wait, this isn’t... damn it! You’re Marty and Doc, aren’t you?” Pinkie asked. “Uh... uhh...” Doc replied. “I must have typed in the wrong code... actually, while I’m here...” Pinkie ran towards the van. “Wait, Doc, what the hell is going on? Why is there a... My Little Pony standing right here, or whatever the fuck she is?” Marty said, breathlessly. “I don’t know,” Doc replied. “I have a feeling we did something incredibly stupid with the time machine in the future, causing a major rip in time and space that could be growing bigger by the second!” Pinkie Pie grabbed the case of Plutonium, threw it in the DeLorean, and mounted The Breaker on the dashboard. Doc ran towards the car, shocked. “Wait, what the hell are you-” The door slammed in front of his face and the pony was off. From a distance, Doc could see rainbows shooting out of the car. Moments later, a rip in time and space appeared directly in front of the car, and the car traveled into it. The rip disappeared shortly after that. “Amazing! Incredible! That device, that the pony was holding! It’s absolutely baffling! She probably came from her world into ours with the intention of stealing the DeLorean! Wait... stealing the DeLorean- damn.... damn damn damn! I work all my life and spend my entire family fortune on this... this blasted car, only to have it stolen by a pink pony?!” Doc exclaimed. Marty couldn’t believe his eyes, and came to the conclusion that he had dreamed every bit of what he had just seen. Pinkie Pie entered the dimension human beings live in. She landed in a desolate field somewhere in Springfield, Ohio. It was July 24, 2011. She knew the fic was posted to Equestria Daily on June 5, 2011, meaning that it had to have been written some time before that. She guessed June 4, entered these numbers into the Time Circuits, and eased the DeLorean to 88 miles per hour. In the blink of an eye, the car disappeared in a cloud of smoke. A month and 20 days earlier, a man named Michael Brewer was working on a fanfic called “A Night to Forget.” He sat at his computer staring at Microsoft Word at 4 in the morning. He was almost done. Right when he was about to kill Fluttershy with a funnel, he heard an explosion ring out from the yard. He went to the door of his apartment to see what all the noise was about, only to immediately be trampled by a pink pony, carrying some sort of silver box with her. “What the hell... Pinkie Pie? Oh boy, I must really be high off my ass to be seeing Pinkie Pie at 4 in the-” “Shut up, you,” Pinkie Pie interrupted. “You think you’re all funny, writing all that shit about me and my friends, hmm?” “Well, I, uh...” Michael retorted. “Yeah, you’d better stammer. Because I’m about to love and tolerate the SHIT out of you.” “Oh my God, yes! Yes!!” Michael screamed. Just as soon as he did, Pinkie threw him against the wall and smacked his face, knocking him out. She ran over to his computer, the two monitors shining brilliantly in the darkness. On the left monitor, a Word document was open that had A Night to Forget on it. Without a word, Pinkie Pie aimed The Breaker at the screen. She pressed the button on the machine and immediately it let out a horrifying noise. A rip in time and space formed right on Michael’s desk. The technicolored rip swirled and howled in the darkness. Pinkie, without hesitation, jumped through the rip. As she disappeared, the rip did as well. It closed up and left Michael in his apartment alone. The DeLorean was still parked in the parking lot. Pinkie stumbled through the rip and found herself on the streets of Southampton. To her left, she saw RMS Titanic towering above her. The port side was facing a large crowd of carefree ponies, all talking and laughing as they boarded. She ran to the ticket office, hoping to not run into her other self. * * *